Tag Archive for 'success'

06
Aug

There is nothing between us but air and opportunity

I said that the other day out of reflex. I hadn’t said it in a long time. I was joking around with one of my buddies, play-fighting if you will. It is one of those standard responses when someone wants something from you (even if all they want is a fight) and you are trying to motivate them to make a decision.

Normally it is two guys squared up, ready to fight. Both are willing to go the next step, but neither wants to commit to the next step on their own. But no matter what the circumstances, neither wants to take the first punch. They each want the other to make the first move so that they can react. They are waiting to follow, neither want to lead.

That strategy has always bothered me. In the schoolyard, guys would talk tough. They would bump chests, push each other, talk about each other’s mommas – they would do everything but commit to the first punch. This is what I knew of school yard fights in the 3rd grade. It took an older guy to teach me that it was the one who threw that first punch who usually came out on top. It was the guy who had the heart to act first.

R.T. was an O.G. in the literal sense. He was my best friend’s older brother. He was a gangster who worked his way to the top of the game (at the street level that is). He died around the age of 26 doing gangster shit. But before that, R.T. taught me how to fight. My dad taught me how to box, my mom taught me how to find sticks and rocks when your hands can’t do the job (see how men and women attack a problem differently?). R.T. taught me how to survive for real. Continue reading ‘There is nothing between us but air and opportunity’

16
Jun

18 things a hustler needs to know how to do

Ok, for some of you this list is going to be a little basic or cover some ground that you have already covered. But lately I have been getting some emails and messages from folks who really did come up from the street or didnt have someone to teach them this stuff. Everyone has to start somewhere. So here are a few things you need to have a handle on before you can step up your game. 

  1. Give good advice.
    At some point, someone is going to ask your opinion about something personal. Short and sweet is the key. If someone tells you their wife is sleeping around or their kid is an asshole – they don’t want to hear a 2-hour lecture on your childhood (unless you are buying the beers). Give advice that helps in one or two sentences. If you can’t do that, then you haven’t thought about the question hard enough.

    Friend: “My wife is sleeping with my best friend. It is driving me crazy. What do I do?”

    You: “Anyone sleeping with your best friend is not your wife and anyone sleeping with your wife is not your best friend.”It may not be what they want to hear, but it is an irrefutable statement. It also may give them a new perspective to start from.

  2. Tell if someone is lying to you.
    Everyone has a theory. I like these: Liars change the subject quickly. Liars like to say “Honestly”, “Can you believe it?”, “You know you can trust me.” or swear you to secrecy. Liars will sometimes stare straight at you and employ a dead face. Liars place objects between themselves and you during a conversation. Forbes Magazine published a little on this too.
  3. Shake hands.
    Steady, firm, pump, let go. Use the time to make eye contact, since that’s where the social contract begins.
  4. Read some non-fiction.
    You may enjoy Stephen King or some other horror or romantic novels. But no one gets rich reading this stuff. Also in business company, these authors never come up. However, Larry Winget, Suze Orman, Seth Godin and authors like that – all the time.
  5. Not monopolize the conversation.
    When I was younger, I suffered from this affliction. You want to be heard. You want people to notice you. You take it from the fact that everyone around you is letting you talk because you are saying some smart stuff. The fact is the opposite. There is an old saying - “It is better to be quiet and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”
  6. Buy a suit.
    Avoid the $99 suit sales if you can. Know your style and what you need it for (work, funerals, court). Squeeze the fabric into a fist — if it bounces back with little or no sign of wrinkling, that means it’s good, sturdy material. And tug the buttons gently. If they feel loose or wobbly, that means they’re probably coming off sooner rather than later. The jacket’s shoulder pads are supposed to square with your shoulders; if they droop off or leave dents in the cloth, the jacket’s too big. The jacket sleeves should never meet the wrist any lower than the base of the thumb — if they do, ask to go down a size. Always get fitted. Labels aren’t that important until you start running with the $2,000 to $5,000 suit crowd – but fabric and patterns matter. Stay with the basic colors and patterns. Get creative with the shirt and tie. That’s where you add flavor. I found this video too.
  7. Talk out a fight or know how to throw a solid punch. Continue reading ‘18 things a hustler needs to know how to do’

11
Feb

Being broke sucks. Wasted potential blows.

For most of you, I don’t need to explain that. But sometimes when I say it to people, they nod and agree and dismiss the statement. These are folks who have never been broke.

To them, being broke means not being able to buy name brand products or not buying new clothes. What I am talking about is broke like you might eat dirt just to fill the hole in your stomach. I mean jumping people’s fences to eat not ripe vegetables out of their gardens. I mean broke to where you lift a garbage lid in hopes of finding something that doesn’t stink so you don’t gag while forcing yourself to choke it down. I have been this broke.

I have also been $1.00 a day on food broke. I have stolen for food. I have cheated for food. I have dated 6 girls at the same time to get free food from them. They didn’t have to be cute, just generous.

I am not proud of the things I have done to fill the hole in my belly and to keep a warm place to sleep. I wasn’t proud while I was doing it and I am not proud while I type this out. Yeah, at the time I was talking shit to my guy friends about being a pimp or being a player. One girl was paying for my pager, another put gas in my car. Each girl knew I was playing around but each thought that they were my “Bottom Bitch”.

And that’s why it was cold. I still talk to some of those girls. They went on to have jobs and families. None of them really knew what I was doing to them – at least there is that. But I lost part of my soul back then. I work daily to get it back. It is a burden that I have to carry.

But for all the things I have done, I have never begged.

I don’t know why I could steal, but I couldn’t beg. Maybe I couldn’t look people in the face and take from them. I had to do it at night, with no one around.

I used to give money to beggars from time to time. I have noticed that I give less and less to beggars when they ask. Last week I saw a young, well, strong black man sitting next to the door of my local grocery store. He hit me up for money. I bit my tongue, squared up and kept walking. Then I sat in my car and watched him. He was able to work, but he wasn’t. He was begging. Maybe this was his hustle.

My time running the street, I have met a lot of homeless people and a lot of professional beggars. These are folks who just don’t want to work. Begging is their job. Sometimes I think that they are doing a service. The people who give them money feel good about themselves and it only cost a buck or so in spare change. There is an exchange of cash for services.

But this kid made me mad. He had potential. He could be doing anything. Why was he begging? Did he think that was the strongest hustle he had? Then I started to think about his strategy. He picked the store in town where a majority of the patrons are wealthy. The ones who aren’t white are immigrants. Now the wealthy Indians and Asians in my neighborhood do not give to beggars. Most of them work very hard. Hell, most of the people in my neighborhood work hard, and they aren’t the types to give up their money to someone because he asks for it or looks sad.

So, this was the best he could do. He put on his sad puppy face and tries to pull in some spare change on a side hustle. It was weak and sad. He had a better chance of pulling off a security con at the local mall. You know the one. “Hey, for $5 I’ll make sure no one messes with your car.”

People are more likely to give you something if you are willing to do something. You show people some motivation or good will; they will meet you half way. Begging is the lowest hustle I can think of. If that is the best you have got, then you might as well punch a time clock. It is the same thing, but at least you have your self-respect.

People may find this a bit harsh from me. This kid affected me emotionally. I see young people in my town begging all the time. Most of them are stoners, burnouts, lazy or generally pieces of human waste. There was something about this kid that made me notice him. There was something that ate away at my gut. Something that made me question who he was and what he was doing.

The point is this. You aren’t as cute as you think you are. No one is going to give you enough money to live on because you look sad. If you are going to try and pull off a con, you better set up shop where you can actually get over on your mark. Otherwise you are wasting time, wasting effort and wasting potential.

07
Jan

Financing your business using the Stone Soup Strategy

I remember the first time I heard the story about stone soup. I was about 8 years old and it was a muppet story or something like that for kids on television. Even then I understood what was going on in the story. The two main characters used the only resources they had, their street smarts, to come up and get fed. For those who don’t know, here is the story:

Two travelers come to a village, carrying nothing more than an empty pot. Upon their arrival, the villagers are unwilling to share any of their food stores with the hungry travelers. The travelers fill the pot with water, drop a large stone in it, and place it over a fire in the village square. One of the villagers becomes curious and asks what they are doing. The travelers answer that they are making “stone soup”, which tastes wonderful, although it still needs a little bit of garnish to improve the flavor, which they are missing. The villager doesn’t mind parting with just a little bit to help them out, so it gets added to the soup. Another villager walks by, inquiring about the pot, and the travelers again mention their stone soup which hasn’t reached its full potential yet. The villager hands them a little bit of seasoning to help them out. More and more villagers walk by, each adding another ingredient. Finally, a delicious and nourishing pot of soup is enjoyed by all.  Continue reading ‘Financing your business using the Stone Soup Strategy’

21
Dec

Go to where the food is!

Sam Kinison said it best -

“I’m like anyone else on this planet — I’m very moved by world hunger. I see the same commercials, with those little kids, starving, and very depressed. I watch those kids and I go, ‘Fuck, I know the FILM crew could give this kid a sandwich!’ There’s a director five feet away going, ‘DON’T FEED HIM YET! GET THAT SANDWICH OUTTA HERE! IT DOESN’T WORK UNLESS HE LOOKS HUNGRY!!!’ But I’m not trying to make fun of world hunger. Matter of fact, I think I have the answer. You want to stop world hunger? Stop sending these people food. Don’t send these people another bite, folks. You want to send them something, you want to help? Send them U-Hauls. Send them U-Hauls, some luggage, send them a guy out there who says, ‘Hey, we been driving out here every day with your food, for, like, the last thirty or forty years, and we were driving out here today across the desert, and it occurred to us that there wouldn’t BE world hunger, if you people would LIVE WHERE THE FOOD IS! YOU LIVE IN A DESERT! YOU LIVE IN A F**KING DESERT! NOTHING GROWS OUT HERE! NOTHING’S GONNA GROW OUT HERE! YOU SEE THIS? HUH? THIS IS SAND. KNOW WHAT IT’S GONNA BE A HUNDRED YEARS FROM NOW? IT’S GONNA BE SAND! YOU LIVE IN A F**KING DESERT! GET YOUR STUFF, GET YOUR SH*T, WE’LL MAKE ONE TRIP, WE’LL TAKE YOU TO WHERE THE FOOD IS! WE HAVE DESERTS IN AMERICA — WE JUST DON’T LIVE IN THEM, A**HOLES!” Continue reading ‘Go to where the food is!’