The Gorilla Pimp only knows one way to communicate, “It is my way or the dead way.” It is effective even if it does seem cruel. Other pimps steer clear of the Gorilla Pimps because they are likely to set you on fire in the middle of the street just to make a point. But their tactics work. Girls are too terrified to leave or disobey and competing pimps would sometimes just move to another neighborhood.

Real pimps an players will tell you that true smooth pimping is when the girls actually love their pimp. They WANT to give them all the money. The loyalty is to the death and those girls will go out and recruit other girls to help out their “family”.

Gorilla pimps go after the weak and strong. They don’t care. They scare their employees into submission and their competition into leaving. Every pimp and hustler has a litle Gorilla in them, but the smart ones keep him in the cage unless absolutely neccesary.

So now that you know what a Gorilla Pimp is, lets talk about the business equivelent – Guerrilla Pimping. And yes that term is copyrighted and no you cant use it. I am writing a book about Guerrilla Pimping so sit back and get  a sneak peek.

I had a phone call yesterday froma  friend who was looking to bounce some ideas off of me. He had been going to networking meetings and different mixers to listen to marketing experts. They had all kinds of ideas but none applied to what he was doing. He was feeling like he was wasting his time.

I told him that it was time to take his marketing to the next level. Publicity Stunts. Street level guerilla marketing.

People have a funny idea of what a publicity stunt is. They think it is cheezy and obvious. It doesnt have to be. But even if it is…so what?

The point of marketing and advertising is exposure. Rememebr what they say? “Any press is good press.” I would be willing to go to jail on a $500 trespassing ticket to get front page and news media exposure in the right context. A $500 ticket and a slap on the wrist for $15,000 worth of exposure? Yeah, that math works out.

The second thing people are afraid of (other than embarrasing themself) is creating a war or pissing off other businesses. I don’t get this. If you have no relationship with these other businesses, why do you care? I have sent people to stand at other clubs and stand at the end of the line and tell people to come to my spot. Give the people a free pass to not pay a cover charge or whatever. That’s Guerilla Pimping. My team did this and drove 20 or 30 people to my bar. That equated to $600 in “free” money and exposure. What did the other club say? Nothing.

I sent 12 people out to crash a big business shopping center sponsored event. This shopping center is a block away from my restaurant and bar. They will not let me participate because I am not in their shopping center. But thats ok. I have other ways. By the time the security guard found one of my street team members and notified a Sheriff to remove them from the property, the other 11 had already distributed 1,600 flyers – in 40 minutes. This resulted in $1,000 in extra business. It cost me $40 and free t-shirts for the kids doing the flyers.

Next week at the same event (they do this event 4 times duing the summer) I will have a guy in  mascot costume go out and pomote. I’m not going to say exactly what I am going to do, but if I get caught, what will happen? The photographer I have going with my mascot will be photographing the local Sheriffs escorting my mascot off the property. My photographer has press credentials and does work for the local paper on the freelance basis. The next day that picture will make the paper. Hopefully front page. Either way I will have video and photos to distribute online and off. I will make wanted posters of my mascot and have them distributed. I will make the mascot character an infamous local figure. I will put a bounty on his head and offer cash prizes to anyone who can catch him and bring him back – alive and unhurt of course. My first reward will be to the Sheriffs who catch him this Friday. I may even show up with a giant check made out to one of their sponsored charitable organizations. Of course, with a photographer and press release in hand sent in advance to the local media with an apology from the mascot. No reason to make the cops look bad. We might need them later.

Yes this will make the paper and probably make the local news.

How many people will be on the look out for the mascot? How many people will talk about it? How many people will come by the business after seeing the exposure, news, mascot – whatever? How much will it cost? $50 for the guy to walk around town for a few hours and the cost of the costume. Photos of the winners will be posted inside on a wall of “Bounty Hunters”. Is this all goofy? Hell yeah. I won’t lie. It sounds dumb as hell.

But where and how else will I get $50,000 in media placement, exposure, free advertising and word of mouth marketing for $250 total out of pocket expense?

Thats Guerrilla Pimping.

That’s Hustling

Take some notes. Some of the greatest marketing takes place without any money out of pocket. Think about those smooth pimps who go out and talk those women into selling their bodies and giving the money to the pimp. What did that cost them? Nothing but time to learn the game.

I’m giving you the tools, you just have to work your hustle.

What can you do to put your business between the customers you want and your competition. Thats Guerrilla Pimping.

Keep Hustling

Then you hear on the finance channels that now is the time to invest. Days like these are the days that made the Rockerfellers the Rockerfellers.

Thats  true – these are. But the Rockerfellers weren’t broke before the depression either. So, here is what I hav been up to.

The restaurant is open. I ran into a beef wih the local police because they didnt want me to open. That process cost me an extra $15,000 that we didn’t plan for. That pissed me off because the issue seemed “made up”. But I got over it. After 8 months of being open we are scratching at profitability. That means I am about 10% away from operating in the black which, in this industry is considered miraculous.

But there is work to be done. I have a lot of competitors and folks who have connections that do not want to see me be successful. But all of that makes me stronger. See, while they are focused on me – I am focused on their customers. Which strategy do you think will bear more fruit?

A few of my other businesses have been hit hard by the economy. Fortunately I believe in diversification. For me, that means I have multiple products and services that I offer my clients. One of those products replaced a more expensive service. So clients that have had their budgets cut and can’t afford our big expensive services, can still work with us and know that we are solving their problems. This means that I didn’t lose a client – instead I just solve their problems differenly. This has also earned me some attention in a few national publications in he industries that I serve. That brought me new clients.

We are about to launch that new business I told you all about. I know, launch a NEW business? Remember what I have said before. There is opportunity in every environment.

I can’t go into detail on what he project is right now but it is timely and here is an unfilled market. That is a good start. The part that is really interesting is that I am doing it with a partner. I am going to try it again.

Partnerships have never worked out well for me. I think I may have even recommended to you all to avoid them. I am hoping this will be one of those rare exceptions.

I was completely up front wih my partner (who has been a friend for a long time. He even hired me once for a job when I was 18 years old ) I told him that I have never had a partnership work out. Never. Neither has he (except for his wife). We are working out a partnership agreement. I am hoping that wisdom will temper this new relationship. I am betting on success. The idea is too good to not pursue and neither of us would pursue it alone.

I have a lot more to say and I will try to keep up with this momentum. Right now I am typing from the ba, on my laptop. I have been coming in more ad instead of sitting n my ass or watching TV – I am ging to try an talk with you folks.

Keep your head up and keep hustling.

1. Got…? - Some of you remember the stone soup story. The principle is, take what you got and make something out of it. Got a ladder? Charge folks with houses $20 to $40 to take down their Christmas lights. It is cold outside and I dont want to do it. I would give you $40 to do the 30 minutes of work so I dont have to. 
2. Put’em on the Glass – Right now there are hundreds of businesses that have had their windows painted for Christmas. Grab that bucket and warm soapy water.
3. Gypsey – Got a car or a van? Spend $10 on some business cards and tell the bar owners that you are happy to pick up the drunks to take them away. Drop these cards off at the local college fraternities and sororities too. Make sure you make friends with the folks you pick up because there is no law against picking up a friend and driving them home from the bar. But there are laws against driving an illegal taxi cab. 
4. Reap what you sow - Right now wives are nagging guys to go out and “winterize” their lawns. This means dropping some grass seed for spring. Figure out how long it takes you to do 100 square feet (plus the cost of the seed) and fix your price. Like I said, better you than me. 
5. Time to eat – There are working folks in your neighborhood that are eating fast food everyday. These are the folks who now have a “I’m going to lose weight this year” new year resolution. Figure out a menu of nice dinners (do your calorie and fat calculations – all the incredients added up and divided by the number of portions.) Pack it up and sell it for double (even triple) what you paid for it with a little slip of paper with cooking instructions. The cool thing with this hustle is that the more customers you have, the less work per customer. Give them a menu to review. Hook them up with some free or half off samples for the first day. Get payment up front (for groceries) and deliver on time. There are recipes online and “cost effective” shortcuts to maximize your profit. Just keep your head up for the health department. They frown on doing this from your house. If you get enough accounts, thry to find a local commercial kitchen that rents out times for you to cook there.

Good luck out there Hustlers. It is times like these that made the Rockerfellers and Vanderbuilts rich. Keep hustling and I will be back with an update.  

Most people don’t know what $20 a week can get them. Hell I was told what it would do for me when I was 16 and I didn’t listen. If I had, I would have an account right now with over $100,000 cash in it grown from $20 a week.

To, for some folks, $20 is a drop in the bucket. It is lunch money. For others it means the difference between hamburger helper for the family and just plain helper.

$20 can be found almost under every rock in your neighborhood, if you know what kind of rocks to look for.

I get emails all the time (so if you sent one and I haven’t responded, hang in there, I am working on it). Most of the time it is stuff like “How do I get my hustle going?” or “Where can I get money to finance my hustle?”

The hardest part to locking down a strong hustle is money and patience. If you have ever done any kind of crime, you know that you spend a lot of time waiting. You are either waiting in the bushes for traffic to clear so you can break a window or you are waiting for the store to clear out a little before you run in there. Maybe you are waiting for a foggy night to do your dirt or you are waiting for a homeboy to call you up with the ok on the spot where he works.

Most of the time it is a gut check. You ask yourself, does it FEEL right. Being kids of the 70’s and 80’s my friends and I used to call this our “Spidey Senses”. Some of my other friends called it being ghetto psychic. It is how you know someone is a cop, even though you don’t really know. It is the gut feeling to know that now is the time to act.

But the waiting to act is hard. That is the hardest part to get over. You can have millions in the bank but unless you check the gut, keep it in your pocket. This is why I think that those who grew up in the game have an advantage over those who didn’t. You can smell danger. The other advantage is that you know when to take the risk of running up and smashing that window.

So now that we know that you have to have patience to know when to act, you have got to find the dough. Money has a funny way of multiplying. Think about it. When I was a kid, I sold candy on the schoolyard. I had a little store in my backpack. Actually I carried a duffel bag that was half candy and half books with zippers on both sides. I stole about $2.00 worth of nickel gum and Jolly Ranchers from the 7-11 near my house. I would go back and pay for them as I have the money now but they closed like 12 years ago.

Anyway, I flipped that $2.00 in candy into $4.00 that afternoon. I went and bought $4.00 in candy and sold it for $8.00 the next day. I did this until I was making between $10 and $20 a day net. That’s a pocket full of cash for a 3rd grader in 1983. I took those profits and rolled them into extending my line and setting up distribution (selling candy is like selling crack or weed or anything else). I was the Nino Brown of the elementary school.

But all I needed was that seed money. So here are some ideas for setting up your empire, starting with your first $20. By the way, I have done each of these things myself so i know they work.

Tow Yards – Many Tow Truck companies have impound contracts with the cops. When people don’t pick up their cars, the tow yard doesn’t want to sell them like they are a car lot (they usually don’t have a license to sell cars). So they sell them for scrap to the local junkyards. Offer to sell those cars for them for a split of the profits. They only get $50 to $200 for the salvage on those cars. You might get the car with a salvage title, but my first three cars had salvage titles and that didn’t bother me. Plus a lot of those salvage yards just sell those cars anyway. You are acting as a broker and can list the car on craigslist or ebay if you want. If you have $50 to $200, just ask to buy the car from the lot yourself and don’t split the upsell value.

Recycling – I am not saying go get a bicycle and a bunch of bags and hit the garbage cans. Not that there is anything wrong with that, those people are Hustlers in their own way. I am saying to go by the local bars and restaurants and talk to someone. Maybe it is the owner or the manager or the security guard that is guarding the dumpster. Offer them 50% of the recycled value of the cans and bottles. You swing by once a day, week or month – whatever works. You will make a few extra dollars for sure and you could even turn this into a little business. I used to do this when I was a kid. I didn’t have a car so I would just go to the restaurants around the grocery store and get them to give me their bottles. I would turn them in at the store for cash. It was an easy $10 for an hour of work in 1982 when minimum wage was a little over $3/hr in California.

Mobile Car Wash – If you live somewhere where people like to drive, then going to their homes and telling them that for $5 to $10 you (and your kids or spouse or friends) will wash their cars. If it works out you can set it up so you can stop by once a week to once a month. Use quality soap and nice cloths and bring your own hoses and nozzles so you don’t have to borrow anything from the owner. Make sure you have nothing sharp on you (watches, belts, keys). You can even take a camera with you and take a picture of each car (to document existing damages) and have a check list with a drawing of a car (like the rental places use). In the winter time, shovel snow. Get to really know them and get them on an oil change schedule too.

Be a Mobile Store – People buy water. You can buy it bulk, cheap. Go places where people are exercising (the park, the gym, the community center, little league ball games) with a backpack lined with water resistant cloth (think solar reflectors from PepBoys or thermal blankets). Freeze some of the bottles and put them on the bottom. Make a T-Shirt at Zazzle.com or CafePress.com that say “Water $1.00” or “Snack Pimp” or something like that. If you are in a wheel chair and like to beg for money as your hustle – don’t go panhandle – put some hooks on your wheelchair and be a mobile store. I am far more likely to buy something from you than give you my hard earned money for nothing! And likely people are more likely to give you money if you at least make the effort to sell something.

Make Something – You know how to do something. What are your friends calling you up to help them with? You help people all the time even if it is moving furniture. Do you have a truck, rent yourself on Craigslist for people who need the help. Do you know how to make necklaces? Are you willing to learn something? Open up the PennySaver or phone book to the handyman section. What are other people doing? Learn it and do that too! I have a concrete back patio that my wife wants to stain. It is stamped so there are a lot of brick-like patterns. She wants me to get out there and stain each “brick” individually in alternating colors. Yeah, it will look good and it is easy to do – but I don’t want to do it. I would pay someone $500 to come do it for me over the weekend. I would pay for the stain, brushes and kneepads. And in California as long as it is under $500 you don’t need a contractor’s license. There are a lot of guys like me with more money than time. You have more time than money. Go get their money.

So there are 5 solid ideas. Not everyone can do all of them but anyone can do at least one of them. Take that little money you get and throw it into a CD or savings account or Roth IRA or mutual funds or something. Sit on it and let it grow until you find the next hustle.

If I had done this when I was 16, and increased my savings to my earnings, as I got older – I would have over a million dollars cash in that savings account. Life is funny like that. When you get older you see all the missed opportunities. But while you are looking back at them, don’t forget to look around at the here and now. You don’t want to be 10 years older looking back to now thinking about all the opportunities that you are missing right now.

That bar/restaurant I am opening started from $20. I fixed some computers and stuff when I was 16 years old. I taught myself how.  I read books at the library and hung out with other people in that kind of stuff and learned what I could. I charged $20/hr to fix any computer problem that I could fix. I used that money to buy a 1966 mustang for $1,200. I sold that Mustang for $2,500 to help put together the down payment to buy my first house. I sold that house for $200,000 more than I paid for it. I took about $100,000 of that and paid off all my debt and used the rest to buy a crappy little bar in the ghetto. The other $100,000 I used as a down payment on the next house.

I set that bar up, cleaned it up and squeezed every dime out of it until it was the most successful 1100 square feet in that neighborhood. I took the money from that and leased a very high traffic and visible spot in the good side of town. Just by moving into the new building the value of that business has doubled. Remember what they say about real estate? Well it is the same for businesses too – “Location, Location, Location”. The day I open the doors the business will be worth about $500,000.

It all started from a $20 hustle.

Keep Hustling

So the reader said that he wanted to know, as he develops into his carreer as a teacher, how to keep an eye out for a hustle that he could jump into and take advantage of.

Hustles present themselves to you every day, no matter where you are. They show up, hang around for a minute and pass on to the next guy if you failed to grab onto it.

I dig teachers. I have a bit of an envy for teachers which is probably why I set this blog up in the first place.

I have friend who is a teacher that got into real estate as his sideline hustle. He now owns a few houses hat he rents out. He isnt making a killing on the month to month. Each house only brings in a hundred bucks or so a month – but in 20 to 30 years they will be paid off and worth a few $100k each. I have another friend who is a professor at a pretty large university. He took his expertise to the next level and saw that an educational and theraputic tool used in the field hadn’t been changed in 50 years. He and I modernized it and made it cross cultural. He invested $25,000 and flipped it into $125,000 in a year.

I have another teacher friend who has written and published three books. Another teacher friend that owns an ice cream shop. One more teacher that runs an after school tutoring school (think Sylvan or Kumon). I know that one of my teachers (economics teacher actually) went on to open a couple of drive through sub shops (think ToGos or SubWay).

The best thing you can do is find something that you are an expert in and something that you care about. Find a way to use your resources as a teacher (other teachers, your union, your students) or review your environment (antiquated tools or teaching materials). You can take a look at your goegraphic location (empty retail spots across from the school). As a teacher, you are exposed to a few hundred kids a day. This is not only a test market but also a potential client pool.

The district probably has an issue with you actively promoting your business in class, but if you work with other teachers to host a fundraising car wash in the parking lot of your business for the school band, or host after school study lounge at your coffee/ice cream shop – there is likely no conflict

If you work in a poor school and see the things that happen to students in that area, think about writing a book or teaching guide for other teachers. Offer to lecture (for pay) at a local college. Think about hosting workshops for educators in the same environment.

As a teacher you have a world of opportunity around you. Plug into it and you will be surprised at what pops up. If you work in another field though, the same types of opportunities are around. I have worked fast food, retail, industrial and almost any type of job that you can think of. Every job presented an opportunity, if you were looking for it. Think about your job. What sorts of contacts are you making? What types of people come to your employer? What niche is your employer missing?

Answer these questions and you are on your way to developing your hustle.

Oops. I almost closed this one out without this final thought. Even though you are working for your employer, think about them as a potential customer, partner or test group. You may come up with a way to help your bosses do something more efficiently or less expensively.  Tread lightly and talk to your attorney first, but give them a shot. If you are a good employee and a hard worker with a million dollart idea, they may be first in line to throw some dough your way.

Keep Hustling