The Gorilla Pimp only knows one way to communicate, “It is my way or the dead way.” It is effective even if it does seem cruel. Other pimps steer clear of the Gorilla Pimps because they are likely to set you on fire in the middle of the street just to make a point. But their tactics work. Girls are too terrified to leave or disobey and competing pimps would sometimes just move to another neighborhood.

Real pimps an players will tell you that true smooth pimping is when the girls actually love their pimp. They WANT to give them all the money. The loyalty is to the death and those girls will go out and recruit other girls to help out their “family”.

Gorilla pimps go after the weak and strong. They don’t care. They scare their employees into submission and their competition into leaving. Every pimp and hustler has a litle Gorilla in them, but the smart ones keep him in the cage unless absolutely neccesary.

So now that you know what a Gorilla Pimp is, lets talk about the business equivelent – Guerrilla Pimping. And yes that term is copyrighted and no you cant use it. I am writing a book about Guerrilla Pimping so sit back and get  a sneak peek.

I had a phone call yesterday froma  friend who was looking to bounce some ideas off of me. He had been going to networking meetings and different mixers to listen to marketing experts. They had all kinds of ideas but none applied to what he was doing. He was feeling like he was wasting his time.

I told him that it was time to take his marketing to the next level. Publicity Stunts. Street level guerilla marketing.

People have a funny idea of what a publicity stunt is. They think it is cheezy and obvious. It doesnt have to be. But even if it is…so what?

The point of marketing and advertising is exposure. Rememebr what they say? “Any press is good press.” I would be willing to go to jail on a $500 trespassing ticket to get front page and news media exposure in the right context. A $500 ticket and a slap on the wrist for $15,000 worth of exposure? Yeah, that math works out.

The second thing people are afraid of (other than embarrasing themself) is creating a war or pissing off other businesses. I don’t get this. If you have no relationship with these other businesses, why do you care? I have sent people to stand at other clubs and stand at the end of the line and tell people to come to my spot. Give the people a free pass to not pay a cover charge or whatever. That’s Guerilla Pimping. My team did this and drove 20 or 30 people to my bar. That equated to $600 in “free” money and exposure. What did the other club say? Nothing.

I sent 12 people out to crash a big business shopping center sponsored event. This shopping center is a block away from my restaurant and bar. They will not let me participate because I am not in their shopping center. But thats ok. I have other ways. By the time the security guard found one of my street team members and notified a Sheriff to remove them from the property, the other 11 had already distributed 1,600 flyers – in 40 minutes. This resulted in $1,000 in extra business. It cost me $40 and free t-shirts for the kids doing the flyers.

Next week at the same event (they do this event 4 times duing the summer) I will have a guy in  mascot costume go out and pomote. I’m not going to say exactly what I am going to do, but if I get caught, what will happen? The photographer I have going with my mascot will be photographing the local Sheriffs escorting my mascot off the property. My photographer has press credentials and does work for the local paper on the freelance basis. The next day that picture will make the paper. Hopefully front page. Either way I will have video and photos to distribute online and off. I will make wanted posters of my mascot and have them distributed. I will make the mascot character an infamous local figure. I will put a bounty on his head and offer cash prizes to anyone who can catch him and bring him back – alive and unhurt of course. My first reward will be to the Sheriffs who catch him this Friday. I may even show up with a giant check made out to one of their sponsored charitable organizations. Of course, with a photographer and press release in hand sent in advance to the local media with an apology from the mascot. No reason to make the cops look bad. We might need them later.

Yes this will make the paper and probably make the local news.

How many people will be on the look out for the mascot? How many people will talk about it? How many people will come by the business after seeing the exposure, news, mascot – whatever? How much will it cost? $50 for the guy to walk around town for a few hours and the cost of the costume. Photos of the winners will be posted inside on a wall of “Bounty Hunters”. Is this all goofy? Hell yeah. I won’t lie. It sounds dumb as hell.

But where and how else will I get $50,000 in media placement, exposure, free advertising and word of mouth marketing for $250 total out of pocket expense?

Thats Guerrilla Pimping.

That’s Hustling

Take some notes. Some of the greatest marketing takes place without any money out of pocket. Think about those smooth pimps who go out and talk those women into selling their bodies and giving the money to the pimp. What did that cost them? Nothing but time to learn the game.

I’m giving you the tools, you just have to work your hustle.

What can you do to put your business between the customers you want and your competition. Thats Guerrilla Pimping.

Keep Hustling

1. Got…? - Some of you remember the stone soup story. The principle is, take what you got and make something out of it. Got a ladder? Charge folks with houses $20 to $40 to take down their Christmas lights. It is cold outside and I dont want to do it. I would give you $40 to do the 30 minutes of work so I dont have to. 
2. Put’em on the Glass – Right now there are hundreds of businesses that have had their windows painted for Christmas. Grab that bucket and warm soapy water.
3. Gypsey – Got a car or a van? Spend $10 on some business cards and tell the bar owners that you are happy to pick up the drunks to take them away. Drop these cards off at the local college fraternities and sororities too. Make sure you make friends with the folks you pick up because there is no law against picking up a friend and driving them home from the bar. But there are laws against driving an illegal taxi cab. 
4. Reap what you sow - Right now wives are nagging guys to go out and “winterize” their lawns. This means dropping some grass seed for spring. Figure out how long it takes you to do 100 square feet (plus the cost of the seed) and fix your price. Like I said, better you than me. 
5. Time to eat – There are working folks in your neighborhood that are eating fast food everyday. These are the folks who now have a “I’m going to lose weight this year” new year resolution. Figure out a menu of nice dinners (do your calorie and fat calculations – all the incredients added up and divided by the number of portions.) Pack it up and sell it for double (even triple) what you paid for it with a little slip of paper with cooking instructions. The cool thing with this hustle is that the more customers you have, the less work per customer. Give them a menu to review. Hook them up with some free or half off samples for the first day. Get payment up front (for groceries) and deliver on time. There are recipes online and “cost effective” shortcuts to maximize your profit. Just keep your head up for the health department. They frown on doing this from your house. If you get enough accounts, thry to find a local commercial kitchen that rents out times for you to cook there.

Good luck out there Hustlers. It is times like these that made the Rockerfellers and Vanderbuilts rich. Keep hustling and I will be back with an update.  

Most people don’t know what $20 a week can get them. Hell I was told what it would do for me when I was 16 and I didn’t listen. If I had, I would have an account right now with over $100,000 cash in it grown from $20 a week.

To, for some folks, $20 is a drop in the bucket. It is lunch money. For others it means the difference between hamburger helper for the family and just plain helper.

$20 can be found almost under every rock in your neighborhood, if you know what kind of rocks to look for.

I get emails all the time (so if you sent one and I haven’t responded, hang in there, I am working on it). Most of the time it is stuff like “How do I get my hustle going?” or “Where can I get money to finance my hustle?”

The hardest part to locking down a strong hustle is money and patience. If you have ever done any kind of crime, you know that you spend a lot of time waiting. You are either waiting in the bushes for traffic to clear so you can break a window or you are waiting for the store to clear out a little before you run in there. Maybe you are waiting for a foggy night to do your dirt or you are waiting for a homeboy to call you up with the ok on the spot where he works.

Most of the time it is a gut check. You ask yourself, does it FEEL right. Being kids of the 70’s and 80’s my friends and I used to call this our “Spidey Senses”. Some of my other friends called it being ghetto psychic. It is how you know someone is a cop, even though you don’t really know. It is the gut feeling to know that now is the time to act.

But the waiting to act is hard. That is the hardest part to get over. You can have millions in the bank but unless you check the gut, keep it in your pocket. This is why I think that those who grew up in the game have an advantage over those who didn’t. You can smell danger. The other advantage is that you know when to take the risk of running up and smashing that window.

So now that we know that you have to have patience to know when to act, you have got to find the dough. Money has a funny way of multiplying. Think about it. When I was a kid, I sold candy on the schoolyard. I had a little store in my backpack. Actually I carried a duffel bag that was half candy and half books with zippers on both sides. I stole about $2.00 worth of nickel gum and Jolly Ranchers from the 7-11 near my house. I would go back and pay for them as I have the money now but they closed like 12 years ago.

Anyway, I flipped that $2.00 in candy into $4.00 that afternoon. I went and bought $4.00 in candy and sold it for $8.00 the next day. I did this until I was making between $10 and $20 a day net. That’s a pocket full of cash for a 3rd grader in 1983. I took those profits and rolled them into extending my line and setting up distribution (selling candy is like selling crack or weed or anything else). I was the Nino Brown of the elementary school.

But all I needed was that seed money. So here are some ideas for setting up your empire, starting with your first $20. By the way, I have done each of these things myself so i know they work.

Tow Yards – Many Tow Truck companies have impound contracts with the cops. When people don’t pick up their cars, the tow yard doesn’t want to sell them like they are a car lot (they usually don’t have a license to sell cars). So they sell them for scrap to the local junkyards. Offer to sell those cars for them for a split of the profits. They only get $50 to $200 for the salvage on those cars. You might get the car with a salvage title, but my first three cars had salvage titles and that didn’t bother me. Plus a lot of those salvage yards just sell those cars anyway. You are acting as a broker and can list the car on craigslist or ebay if you want. If you have $50 to $200, just ask to buy the car from the lot yourself and don’t split the upsell value.

Recycling – I am not saying go get a bicycle and a bunch of bags and hit the garbage cans. Not that there is anything wrong with that, those people are Hustlers in their own way. I am saying to go by the local bars and restaurants and talk to someone. Maybe it is the owner or the manager or the security guard that is guarding the dumpster. Offer them 50% of the recycled value of the cans and bottles. You swing by once a day, week or month – whatever works. You will make a few extra dollars for sure and you could even turn this into a little business. I used to do this when I was a kid. I didn’t have a car so I would just go to the restaurants around the grocery store and get them to give me their bottles. I would turn them in at the store for cash. It was an easy $10 for an hour of work in 1982 when minimum wage was a little over $3/hr in California.

Mobile Car Wash – If you live somewhere where people like to drive, then going to their homes and telling them that for $5 to $10 you (and your kids or spouse or friends) will wash their cars. If it works out you can set it up so you can stop by once a week to once a month. Use quality soap and nice cloths and bring your own hoses and nozzles so you don’t have to borrow anything from the owner. Make sure you have nothing sharp on you (watches, belts, keys). You can even take a camera with you and take a picture of each car (to document existing damages) and have a check list with a drawing of a car (like the rental places use). In the winter time, shovel snow. Get to really know them and get them on an oil change schedule too.

Be a Mobile Store – People buy water. You can buy it bulk, cheap. Go places where people are exercising (the park, the gym, the community center, little league ball games) with a backpack lined with water resistant cloth (think solar reflectors from PepBoys or thermal blankets). Freeze some of the bottles and put them on the bottom. Make a T-Shirt at Zazzle.com or CafePress.com that say “Water $1.00” or “Snack Pimp” or something like that. If you are in a wheel chair and like to beg for money as your hustle – don’t go panhandle – put some hooks on your wheelchair and be a mobile store. I am far more likely to buy something from you than give you my hard earned money for nothing! And likely people are more likely to give you money if you at least make the effort to sell something.

Make Something – You know how to do something. What are your friends calling you up to help them with? You help people all the time even if it is moving furniture. Do you have a truck, rent yourself on Craigslist for people who need the help. Do you know how to make necklaces? Are you willing to learn something? Open up the PennySaver or phone book to the handyman section. What are other people doing? Learn it and do that too! I have a concrete back patio that my wife wants to stain. It is stamped so there are a lot of brick-like patterns. She wants me to get out there and stain each “brick” individually in alternating colors. Yeah, it will look good and it is easy to do – but I don’t want to do it. I would pay someone $500 to come do it for me over the weekend. I would pay for the stain, brushes and kneepads. And in California as long as it is under $500 you don’t need a contractor’s license. There are a lot of guys like me with more money than time. You have more time than money. Go get their money.

So there are 5 solid ideas. Not everyone can do all of them but anyone can do at least one of them. Take that little money you get and throw it into a CD or savings account or Roth IRA or mutual funds or something. Sit on it and let it grow until you find the next hustle.

If I had done this when I was 16, and increased my savings to my earnings, as I got older – I would have over a million dollars cash in that savings account. Life is funny like that. When you get older you see all the missed opportunities. But while you are looking back at them, don’t forget to look around at the here and now. You don’t want to be 10 years older looking back to now thinking about all the opportunities that you are missing right now.

That bar/restaurant I am opening started from $20. I fixed some computers and stuff when I was 16 years old. I taught myself how.  I read books at the library and hung out with other people in that kind of stuff and learned what I could. I charged $20/hr to fix any computer problem that I could fix. I used that money to buy a 1966 mustang for $1,200. I sold that Mustang for $2,500 to help put together the down payment to buy my first house. I sold that house for $200,000 more than I paid for it. I took about $100,000 of that and paid off all my debt and used the rest to buy a crappy little bar in the ghetto. The other $100,000 I used as a down payment on the next house.

I set that bar up, cleaned it up and squeezed every dime out of it until it was the most successful 1100 square feet in that neighborhood. I took the money from that and leased a very high traffic and visible spot in the good side of town. Just by moving into the new building the value of that business has doubled. Remember what they say about real estate? Well it is the same for businesses too – “Location, Location, Location”. The day I open the doors the business will be worth about $500,000.

It all started from a $20 hustle.

Keep Hustling

Two travelers come to a village, carrying nothing more than an empty pot. Upon their arrival, the villagers are unwilling to share any of their food stores with the hungry travelers. The travelers fill the pot with water, drop a large stone in it, and place it over a fire in the village square. One of the villagers becomes curious and asks what they are doing. The travelers answer that they are making “stone soup”, which tastes wonderful, although it still needs a little bit of garnish to improve the flavor, which they are missing. The villager doesn’t mind parting with just a little bit to help them out, so it gets added to the soup. Another villager walks by, inquiring about the pot, and the travelers again mention their stone soup which hasn’t reached its full potential yet. The villager hands them a little bit of seasoning to help them out. More and more villagers walk by, each adding another ingredient. Finally, a delicious and nourishing pot of soup is enjoyed by all. 

Now, I copied this story from Wikipedia because I didn’t feel like retyping it. But basically thats how I remember the story. Now, according to Wikipedia, the two morals of the story are:

1. We can all work together, co-operate and end up better off.
2. If you want to get people to do something, don’t tell them how desperately they are needed. Don’t try to appeal to their sympathy and kindness. Instead, create the impression that you are giving them the opportunity to be part of your success.

I can kind of go along with that, but they left a part out. The biggest part of this story is that the two travellers stood in the town square. They went where they could get the most exposure. To plug another post “They went where the food is“.

Now, to the point of the post. Most projects need a little money to get rolling. Even projects that can be planned and executed effectively can usually be done faster, better and with bigger payoffs if you have a Money Man in your pocket.

I get emails and phone calls about where to get financing. I mentor start-up entreprenuers and their first question is almost always “Where do I get money?”. Well, there is a lot of places to get money, so here is the breakdown.

Friends and Family – most of us don’t have family with money. So you might say that this is a dry well. That’s not true. Remember the stone soup story. If you can find 10 family or friends willing to invest $100 each in you, you can raise $1,000. If you can borrow the money, thats better (as not everyone wants to deal with friends and family as business partners.) I have done this myself. It is never easy, but approach your family and friends like you would a strager. Have your business plan in hand (did I mention that you should always have a business plan?). Explain to them why you need the money, what the business is about and how soon you could repay them. Have a promissory note on hand too. Even if your business fails, you want to pay these people back. They are your family and if you pay them back, they will lend you again.

Your Network – Now my family always told me that when it comes to people, there is family, friends and acquaintances. Your network would be considered all the people you know that you wouldn’t call your ace boon coon, your number one roll dog. You know who I am talking about. Your co-workers, neighbors, old schoolmates, your employer – all these people are open game. Friends of friends are a great source too. I can’t tell you how many business contacts I have made that came from a friend saying “You know I can’t help you but a friend of mine…”

SBA – SBA stands for Small Business Administration. Now I have never done this myself but I know people that have gone through the process. There are loans available for almost any type of business for any reason. These loans are actually funded by banks and credit unions but guaranteed by the federal government (believe it or not, the government wants you to be rich. They can squeeze more taxes out of you that way and you will hire other people and they will tax them too.) They are worth a shot because they are more likely to lend you money than a bank would.

Banks – Yeah, don’t waste your time. You are basically asking them to give you money with nothing that they can go after if you don’t pay. This is called an unsecured loan and unless you are pulling down serious dough, a long time customer and have a high credit score, you have better chance of getting their money with a gun.

Credit Cards – A sucker’s bet. Don’t do it. I don’t care how sure you are that you are going to pull off the score of the century. If you are late once on a credit card, that rate could go up to almost 30% interest. That is a hole that is almost impossible to dig out of. You are better off tricking for the cash.

Now most of you know about these options. But I am going to share afew other lesser known “Stone Soup” options to get some money.

Peer to Peer Lending – This is a fancy way of saying that there are people out there with money that want to lend it out to people like you. They want a return on that investment. The cool thing about P2P lenders is that you may have the opportunity to talk to the people lending you the money. See, they want you to succeed. So they may offer you free advice or insight that gives you ammunition to hit your target more accurately. Here are a few sites to check out:

• Prosper
• Zopa
• Lending Club
• Kiva (for our international readers)
• Loanio
• Virgin Money

Not all of these are technically P2P but each of them has a way to get you the money you need.

Special Investors – Now you can call these guys “Angel Investors” or whatever you like. I have dealt with these guys and I have had one of my projects funded this way. My experience was great. I have no complaints. But the question is “Where the hell do you find an investor that you don’t know?” Well that is the trick man. You can find some online. You can start by going to the town square and set up your pot and get the fire going. You can reread this post to get the ball rolling but I did leave something out of that post. I left out something very important.

Most people hate their jobs.

I know this sounds obvious and stupid, but think about it. Everyone wants to do what you are doing. They want to be the Captain of their own ship. Most of them just don’t have the stones to jump in the mix. This means that if you find someone who makes a lot of money at their job, and you offer them a piece of your life, they will trade that money for your time.

In simpler terms, find yourself a Dentist, a Doctor or a Lawyer and let them in on the action. Statistically (and in my experience) these people hate their jobs more than anyone else. They are literally dying to find someone like you. I get hit up all the time by doctors and lawyers in my circle who have the next great board game or business idea. They have the dough, they just don’t have the time.

So, if you want to get your hustle going, set your pot of stone soup up in the village square. That means that you have to let everyone know that you are on the scene and you are going to hustle your way to the top. You will be surprised how many people will want to throw a little something into your pot to get a taste of your “Stone Soup”.

Keep Hustling

“I’m like anyone else on this planet — I’m very moved by world hunger. I see the same commercials, with those little kids, starving, and very depressed. I watch those kids and I go, ‘Fuck, I know the FILM crew could give this kid a sandwich!’ There’s a director five feet away going, ‘DON’T FEED HIM YET! GET THAT SANDWICH OUTTA HERE! IT DOESN’T WORK UNLESS HE LOOKS HUNGRY!!!’ But I’m not trying to make fun of world hunger. Matter of fact, I think I have the answer. You want to stop world hunger? Stop sending these people food. Don’t send these people another bite, folks. You want to send them something, you want to help? Send them U-Hauls. Send them U-Hauls, some luggage, send them a guy out there who says, ‘Hey, we been driving out here every day with your food, for, like, the last thirty or forty years, and we were driving out here today across the desert, and it occurred to us that there wouldn’t BE world hunger, if you people would LIVE WHERE THE FOOD IS! YOU LIVE IN A DESERT! YOU LIVE IN A F**KING DESERT! NOTHING GROWS OUT HERE! NOTHING’S GONNA GROW OUT HERE! YOU SEE THIS? HUH? THIS IS SAND. KNOW WHAT IT’S GONNA BE A HUNDRED YEARS FROM NOW? IT’S GONNA BE SAND! YOU LIVE IN A F**KING DESERT! GET YOUR STUFF, GET YOUR SH*T, WE’LL MAKE ONE TRIP, WE’LL TAKE YOU TO WHERE THE FOOD IS! WE HAVE DESERTS IN AMERICA — WE JUST DON’T LIVE IN THEM, A**HOLES!”

Sam had it right. If you want something, you have to go to where it is. I recently had a reader ask me where he could go to get financing. I genuinely wanted to help him, but everyone gets financing differently. Once I had a partner that just started calling rich guys who donated to the local museum. Once, me and my partners chipped in. Once I went to family members. You name it – and it can be done. But the thing you need to do is go there. You have to go where the food is.

You want to meet wealthy guys who have money to give? You have to hang out where they do. They go to fund raisers and museum events. They go to the marinas. Hell, you could even just drive around downtown till you see a bunch of German cars parked in a lot – guess what, rich guys probably hang out there. Now that you know where they are, you have to get over the fear of asking.

Let me let you in on a secret. There are people out there that WANT to give you money. They really do. I had one investor that literally put $4 Million Dollars aside every year to invest in small business guys. He has his reasons, but one is taxes. He would rather give it to a guy breaking his ass to make something than to the government where it will be wasted or used to bribe crooked world leaders. So, remember, these guys are out there. You just have to come to them with your game face on and your papers in order. You aren’t looking for a handout – you are looking for a partner. In case you didn’t know, investors are partners and hopefully mentors.

The next thing I mentioned is that if you have an idea, and the investor wants a big fat chunk of your business, how much should you give up?

It all depends on how badly you need them and what their money (and experience and mentorship) brings to the table.

I have no problem turning 90% of a $100,000/yr business over to an investor if they can guarantee to make that business a $10,000,000/yr business in three years (which you can stipulate in the contract) with their contacts, experience and mentorship.

Do this math real quick.

100% of 100,000 = 100,000

10% of $10,000,000 = 1,000,000

I would take a million dollars over a hundred thousand every day of the week and twice on Sunday.

The right investor may hook you up with a better quality crew. He or she might open locked doors for you from their network of rich folks. They may have a marketing agency that can take your product to market faster and better than you could have in 5 years. But the trick is finding the RIGHT investor for you. Not every guy with $50,000 burning a hole in his pocket is the right guy to take on as an investor.

The best way to find the right financier is to find people who are in or from the industry that you are breaking into. Don’t worry about someone stealing your idea. Once you get going, they will be able to “steal” it anyway. The iPod wasn’t the first MP3 player, and it wasn’t the last either.

The right money man has almost more of a stake in your success than you do. You will have to share your secrets with them (not all your secrets but most of them). Put it in this perspective. You can buy smart people, but not all smart people have resources. That being a universal truth – it is better to have 5 rich guys in your pocket than 10 smart guys on your coat tails.

So get out there. Go to where the food is if you want to eat. Then again, you can always get full on “Stone Soup”. I will explain this a little more in my next post.

Keep Hustling